Decisions, or Lack Thereof

"'Cause getting your dreams

It's strange, but it seems

A little--well--complicated

There's a kind of a sort of: cost

There's a couple of things get: lost

There are bridges you cross

You didn't know you crossed

Until you've crossed."

(Yeah, yeah, I know this is the second post in a row in which I quote something else and say nothing new, but I'm, well, overwhelmed. And have nothing intelligent to say. I could regale y'all with my thoughts on college-branded Crocs [unacceptable] or tell you that if one more person tells me newsrooms won't exist in five years I might single-handedly strangle them. But, um, barring that, I will leave you with quotes for now.)

Words of Wisdom

I saw this mug on sale in a coffee shop, when I walked in exhausted and starving on the brink of a sizable decision. I will note, as pointed out by my sister, that it is likely that every decision I have ever made was made when I was both tired and hungry, since these tend to be my state of being.

And They Lived Happily Ever After?

Somewhere, I have a post inside me about race, maybe even one about feminism. In fact, they both exist in draft form on Blogger and one day may even see the light of this blog.

 

For now, though, I'll just point y'all to this article about the female Republican kerfuffle between Meghan McCain and Laura Ingraham that has devolved (strike that, I'm not sure it devolved—it started pretty low) into insults about weight. 

 

This is the female version of the Rush Limbaugh-Michael Steele-David Frum smackdown for the soul of the GOP? One skinny blonde attacking another skinny blonde who is angrily defended by a third skinny blonde, after which everyone retires in a huff to their favorite health blogs to angrily discuss the importance of a positive body image and the need to support a healthy body mass index? Ever wonder why some men think women are less than serious political thinkers?

 

And to this Disney controversy about the first black Disney princess and her non-black prince. To which I would just say that don't you think Disney is being pretty progressive for Disney by featuring a multi-racial couple? Why is it only a fairy-tale ending if the princess marries someone who looks like her?

Deep Thoughts: The Sugar Hangover Edition

• There is nothing fun about fun-size candy packages. What is fun about getting five peanut M&Ms in their very own bag?

• I am pretty sure I have a sugar hangover, though never having had a real hangover, I don't really have anything to compare it to. This is the result of a total freak-out last night that involved eating any and all candy in my apartment, and let's just say post-Purim was an unfortunate time to go on said binge because there was an obscene amount of candy in my apartment, and I ended the night with a blue tongue (Laffy Taffy rope).

• I have fantastic friends who are willing to let me rant nonsense at 100 words per minute and who can walk me away from the candy-eating, speed-talking ledge.

• My friend's almost-3-year-old daughter to my friend: "Coffee makes you happy." Father to his very-grumpy 3ish daughter in the elevator this morning: "Hm, you must have skipped your coffee this morning." He was joking; I'm not sure I will be if I ever utter such a line to my child.

• Things friends/grandparents/etc. should not do: Tell you that if you move to a very large Jewish community that is not New York, you will never get married.
  

Hamentaschen or Cookies?

One Sunday morning a year and a half ago, I was sitting in a bookstore/restaurant with a group of interns. They ordered all sorts of brunch items. I ordered a Diet Coke. One intern turned to me and asked why I wasn't ordering any food. "I keep kosher," I explained. To which he responded, "Oh, so you fast on Sundays?"

I was also once asked by a person who knew about shomer negiah why I couldn't eat the very non-kosher pizza if it didn't have meat on it.

All of which is to say that as an Orthodox Jew who grew up on Long Island, I have absolutely no sense of what non-Jews and non-religious Jews know about my religious practices. I find myself using "circumcision" instead of "bris" to rolled eyes but had an editor ask me (not maliciously at all) to travel on Shabbos.

So, this morning when I brought in leftover hamentaschen to work, I offered my co-workers "cookies." Most of them responded with "Ooh, Hamentaschen!"

ונהפוך הוא

In honor of my Mishloach Manot theme (Chanukah-themed for ונהפוך הוא). Happy Shushan Purim!

A Visit Home in Three Acts

My visit home this weekend happened because I was manipulated by my 6-year-old brother. Sometimes when he goes upstairs at bedtime, he's the only one upstairs and he gets scared. So, he goes into my parents' room and calls people he likes (he has a list of phone numbers). Every once in a while, I get a phone call that goes something like [insert cute little 6-year-old voice here]: "Hi Eli7. I love you. I miss you. When are you coming home?" A few weeks ago, I responded that maybe I would come home in three weeks as it was my first free Shabbos. The conniving 6-year-old then called sister1 and did his whole shpiel for her. She said she would be home in three weeks because she needed to be in New York that Shabbos. "That's the same week Eli7 is coming home!" he exclaimed. Then he called me back. "When did you say you're coming home? That's the same week sister1 is coming home!" Which of course meant that now we were both trapped into coming home. Last week, when he called each of us to find out what day we were coming home, his response to sister1's "Thursday" was, "Can't you come home on Friday because that's when Eli7 is coming home?"

---

Sister1: [talking about sister2] She is totally going to Stern.
Me: Stern College for knowledge?
Sister1: No, Stern College for husbands.
Me: That doesn't rhyme.
Sister1: When you have a husband, it doesn't matter.

---

Sister3: You guys think you're being so subtle, but it's obvious what's going on.
Me & sister1: Um... What?
Sister3: [to me] You're getting engaged.
[Note: This is just false but it was an amusing guess.]

Happy Grammar Day

This is just barely on time, but today was National Grammar Day, so, with about 13 minutes to spare, happy Grammar Day! But, as the T-shirt says, "Every day is National Grammar Day." For me at least.

Deep Thoughts: The Depression Edition

Actually, there are no thoughts here. Just depressing links. Read at your own risk.

• Georgetown Law takes plagiarists and fabricators because why should we even pretend that lawyers are truthful?
• Web site that compiles Interviews with the "Overeducated. Underemployed," which at least some of the time means unemployed and all of the time means people who graduated from good liberal arts colleges the year after I did.
• The closing of a newspaper. "We will scatter. And all that will be left are the stories we have told, captured on microfilm or in digital archives, devices unimaginable in those first days." (This is old news in that it happened last week, but their current home page is so sad and their final edition is making me tear. At my desk. Luckily, I work at a place where people would understand if I told them why my eyes are tearing.)

 

Best Weekend Ever

Three good friends. Ice cream. Fantastic news. The first baby who will call me "aunt." Cinnabon. Starbucks. Two chick flicks. Godiva chocolates. New boots. Pina Colada. Trivial Pursuit gift. Dunkin Donuts. Little sleep.

 

... And my stomach hates me.