A Visit Home in Three Acts
My visit home this weekend happened because I was manipulated by my 6-year-old brother. Sometimes when he goes upstairs at bedtime, he's the only one upstairs and he gets scared. So, he goes into my parents' room and calls people he likes (he has a list of phone numbers). Every once in a while, I get a phone call that goes something like [insert cute little 6-year-old voice here]: "Hi Eli7. I love you. I miss you. When are you coming home?" A few weeks ago, I responded that maybe I would come home in three weeks as it was my first free Shabbos. The conniving 6-year-old then called sister1 and did his whole shpiel for her. She said she would be home in three weeks because she needed to be in New York that Shabbos. "That's the same week Eli7 is coming home!" he exclaimed. Then he called me back. "When did you say you're coming home? That's the same week sister1 is coming home!" Which of course meant that now we were both trapped into coming home. Last week, when he called each of us to find out what day we were coming home, his response to sister1's "Thursday" was, "Can't you come home on Friday because that's when Eli7 is coming home?"
Sister1: [talking about sister2] She is totally going to Stern.
Me: Stern College for knowledge?
Sister1: No, Stern College for husbands.
Me: That doesn't rhyme.
Sister1: When you have a husband, it doesn't matter.
Sister3: You guys think you're being so subtle, but it's obvious what's going on.
Me & sister1: Um... What?
Sister3: [to me] You're getting engaged.
[Note: This is just false but it was an amusing guess.]