What They Don't Tell You About Being a Copy Editor

Behold, the beauty of Gchat.

Friend: hear hear
or is it here here
or maybe hair hair
me: hear hear, i would guess
Friend: me too
but that is significantly less funny
me: tho yesterday i could not figure out if it's by the by or bye the bye or by the bye
Friend: ha! i never thought about that one ... how do you figure out the answer?

me: if all else fails, i can ask the all-knowing copy chief
Friend: ahhh The All-Knowing Copy Chief
do you have to sacrifice your first born child in order to appease said All-Knowing Copy Chief
me: i do not think so, but they might not tell you that until you have a firstborn child. otherwise it might really turn people off of the profession
Friend: you should ask some copy editors who already have a first born (who may actually be their second born)
me: i will inquire

I Might Feel Better if It Had Been Coffee

Me: I spilled tea on my new book.
Friend: First of all, why were you drinking tea?

[I once told said friend that there was no point in imbibing anything that did not contain caffeine. And while I recognize that tea can contain caffeine, I see no point in having tea when you can have coffee. Last night's escapade proved these theories true. Don't ask me how.]

Four Years Old and Never Been Kissed By ...

Today, my blog is four years old. That's neither here nor there. Just sayin'.

[Also, this: "Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." And Dave Barry said that before Diet Coke Plus.]

'I Think I'll Be a Clown'

I recently reread To Kill a Mockingbird. It's just one of those books I reread every once in a while; it's sort of like going home or talking to an old friend. This passage stood out this time:

"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill.

Jem and I stopped in our tracks.

"Yes sir, a clown," he said. "There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off."

"You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them."

"Well I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks."

Another Sort of Seforim Sale

This weekend, I will finally be able to attend this year's YU Seforim Sale (I was somehow convinced by my sister that I cannot go without her), but I think I will also hit up this other—more expensive—seforim sale of a sort, while I'm at it. Though I am pretty sure I'll just be looking, there.

New London, Conn.: Mission Accomplished

Kelo house visited. (The plaque outside the house says the Kelo v. New London Supreme Court decision was "one of the most widely despised decisions in the Court's history," which strikes me as slightly ... melodramatic. It's certainly not the most loved decision in the court's history, but one of the most widely despised? What about Bush v. Gore? Plessy v. Ferguson? Dred Scott?

Popem indoctrination of unwilling friend completed. 

Town of Mystic driven through; Mystic Pizza seen.

Lack of books solved. (With two Updikes, The Emperor's Children, The Rest of Life, and Yo!--all for just over $10.)

Oh yeah, and fabulous time had with fabulous friend.

(Awkward sentence structure semi-fixed after sleep.)

Captain Planet, He's Our Hero

I am all for being environmentally friendly and saving our planet, yada, yada, yada. (I am also totally fine with rinsing my recyclables to save someone from puking even if it is not a necessary environmental step.) But there are just some people who go too far--and the NYT likes to report on them. 

First, there was the guy who was living for a year without toilet paper to reduce his carbon footprint (motivated more by a book deal than by saving the planet, but whatever). Now there are people who are getting rid of their refrigerators. Pardon? Toilet paper. Refrigerator. These are not expendable luxuries in my book. 

But have no fear, if you're the sort that is into luxuries and still want to save the planet--and your checkbook--the Times will also tell you how to more efficiently heat your second home. Wait, there's a recession? What?

In Which I get Wooed by Apple

My sister forwarded me this iPod Touch ad with the comment, "[T]hey made an advertisement just to get you to buy one!" I think the point was actually to convince my nonexistent significant other to buy me one for Valentine's Day but whatevs.

Clenched

half-moon indents of fingernails 

on pink-white palm 

where her hands clench into tight, tight fists   

jaw joint aches 

where her teeth scrape against 

one another each night 

wearing a hole 

through the plastic guard meant to protect them   

flour dots spattered on her sweater 

from the chewy-gooey chocolate-chip cookies 

she will not eat, 

made just to have something to do   

bad country music playing 

cup of coffee going lukewarm, then cooler 

as she worries on 

things she cannot change

An Ode to Popems

I like seasonal food products. A lot. I like donuts a lot as well. So the best seasonal food of all is Entenmann's seasonal Popems. They're the chocolate ones with sprinkles, and you can only get them during a season. Season, it should be noted though, is defined relatively loosely--Fourth of July, St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, Back to School, Christmas, Halloween--all count as seasons. But the point is, you can't always get them because sometimes we are seasonless, like, say, the period between Independence Day and back-to-school time. There is no appropriate sprinkle color theme for Labor Day. I've given these as gifts they are so good and alerted my friends via text message when I find them. There are Valentine's Day Popems on shelves right now if you can find them, and I suggest you try. I suggest you find people to share them with--they are addictive as well.