I Might Feel Better if It Had Been Coffee

Me: I spilled tea on my new book.
Friend: First of all, why were you drinking tea?

[I once told said friend that there was no point in imbibing anything that did not contain caffeine. And while I recognize that tea can contain caffeine, I see no point in having tea when you can have coffee. Last night's escapade proved these theories true. Don't ask me how.]