On Intense Yearning, Changes, and Single Friends

Just as I was ready to take a break from this interviewing process, STX sent me her long-awaited interview with perhaps the toughest questions I've been asked thus far. So, apparently, my interview hiatus is officially ended (or just beginning all over again).

1. What do you think you could do now that would make you into the best mother later?
I have thought about this - don't ask me why - and I think there are two things to do: one, observe families who you think do a good job raising their children, and two, figure out what you want to teach your children. Knowing who you are and what you want to imbue to your children and seeing how other people raise their children are the best things I can do in preparation for motherhood. These two things, I hope, will enable me to have methods and a clear goal when I have the privilege of raising my own children.

2. Describe a situation that you've been in where you had a tough choice to make and are proud of what you chose.
When my family was in extenuating circumstances (long, long story that reads like A Series of Unfortunate Events, but all is okay now) a year and a half ago, I gave up an excellent internship to help out at home. It was not a choice that was at all rewarding for me and the whole it left on my resume is not pretty, but it was, in fact, the right thing to do.

3. Your outlook (or hashkafa, if you'd rather) has changed in a lot of ways over the course of your life. What's one way that it's changed that you haven't blogged about yet?
It took me a really long time to think of something that I wanted to blog about but hadn't blogged about yet. I'm not sure if I've ever blogged anything like this before, but I don't think I have, and if I can't remember, then I don't know why you would.

My hashkafa has changed a lot - especially in Michlala - but my actions have not changed drastically, and I think it can all be categorized as one huge shift in outlook. I grew up frum, so Judaism to me was just a way of life; it was what I did. It was what had to fit around the rest of my life, like it or not. Now, though, Judaism has become the prism through which I view the rest of the world, through which my life has to fit. It wasn't a change in action, it was a change in belief, a change in hashkafa, that totally changed how I practice Judaism and what it means to me, and how I live my life.

It's funny how a little change in perspective can so drastically change everything. All of a sudden, Judaism became the center of my life, instead of the fence surrounding my life. Judaism became beautiful, instead of restricting. And who I am changed as a result.

4. If you could work on yourself and thereby change one thing about yourself, what would it be? (Notice the difference between this and 'if you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?' Very subtle, but very important.)
I would love to change my pessimism/cynicism. Sometimes I am very optimistic, but sometimes I tend to focus on the negative, and that is really detrimental to how I view the world and what I do. I think sometimes cynicism can be a good trait and I do not think that it would do me any good to be a happy, go-lucky type of person always, but I think often I am too cynical. And I think I would be a better person if that weren't the case, and I focused on the good more often.

5. What single thing makes you happiest?
My friends (some of whom are single :).

6. Avraham was chessed, Yitzchok was din, Yaakov was emes. What do you think is the middah that YOU have the greatest potential to bring out in the world?
The desire for knowledge and truth. I'm not sure that qualifies as a middah, and I can't think of a Hebrew word for it, but that is the one thing I feel strongest about. I have an intense desire to learn and find truth. So, maybe my middah would be yearning. If that makes any sense...

Now the rules again:
1) Leave me a comment saying "interview me please."
2)I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as above)
3)You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.