Overheard at the Seder

Family sedarim—and the rest of Pesach—are, well, always interesting with my family...

 

me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

4-year-old brother: Three things: a fireman, policeman, and plumber.

me: A plumber? What do you want to do as a plumber?

4-year-old brother: Plumb things.

[Later, after much incredulity at his career of choice ensued.]

me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
4-year-old brother: Nothing.

me: Well, what are you going to do when you grow up?

4-year-old brother: Sleep all day.

 

--

me: [After hearing the charoset song one too many times] Did you learn any other Pesach songs?

4-year-old brother: Yeah!

me: Can I hear them?

4-year-old brother: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Light up the night! The candles burning bright on this festival of lights ...

--

me: Well, duh.

8-year-old sister: You sound like Michelle.

13-year-old brother: Michelle Obama?

8-year-old sister: No. Michelle from Full House.

 

--

 

16-year-old sister: [In a discussion about how hungry we were at the start of the seder] I just want to get up to the sandwich part because once you start eating sandwiches you can just eat more sandwiches.

--

 

me: [To my wide-awake-at-the-end-of-the-seder 4-year-old brother] When your morah tells you it's nap time, you should tell her that you'll sleep when you're dead.

 

--

21-year-old sister: If Eema kills me, I'm just letting you know it was her so that you can testify to that.
me: What did you do?
21-year-old sister: They [our siblings] may have missed their doctor's appointments because the DMV took a really really really long time. So when i am dead, it was her.

 

--

 

me: [right after yom tov to my 21- and 16-year-old sisters] I'm making coffee. Do you guys want?

8-year-old sister: Can you make for me, too?

4-year-old brother: And me!