Here in This Paper Bag

"But someday we'll all be old
And I'll be so damn beautiful"

 

I've always been a bit self-conscious about the way I look. I won't go outside without eye liner and some attempt at making my hair look decent. I spend a lot of time picking my clothes out in the morning and obsessing over the right shoes, etc. And I won't feel self-confident if I don't feel that I look nice.

 

A character flaw perhaps, but true all the same.

 

Anyhow, I have a specific feature that never used to bother me but has started driving me insane lately. It bothers me every time I look in the mirror and has started making me really self-conscious.

 

(I'm not naming the feature because I don't want those of you who actually know me to spend time staring at it now that I've called your attention to it. So, yeah, stop trying to figure it out.)

 

I've decided I want to fix it. (Note: this does not involve plastic surgery or somesuch thing.) Only thing is, fixing it is really expensive. It's money I have (probably--there's a chance that it could be so expensive that its affordability would be a stretch), but, well, it's a lot of money for something purely cosmetic.

 

Part of me feels silly caring so much. I mean, I don't think it's had any negative effect on anything I've ever done, but lately it makes me feel so ugly.