Things You Might Not Want to Hear on a 1st Date
Just FYI.
- "Oh yeah, I hang out in bars with friends all the time. [disbelief] You wouldn't?"
- In response to my mentioning that McCain's daughter graduated from Columbia my year: "Is she pretty? Because McCain's wife is really pretty."
- Something you might not want to hear if you're a journalist: "The media is just awful. They just shouldn't exist. I've just had it with The New York Times."
- "Tell me what you got on your LSATs. And your GPA."
posted by Eli7 @ 11:31 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Oh dear. You have my utmost sympathies.
Jeans and bars means you went out with someone with a very different hashkafa. Bad job by the shadchan.
The 2nd comment is stupid, the 4th is offensive. The 3rd is a legitimate topic of conversation, but it probably should have been phrased better.
Here's the thing: I don't think the jeans are an indication of hashkafic issues--I have nothing against a guy who wears jeans (after all, I wear denim skirts), just a guy who wears them on a first date.
And, yes, it was not right, but the shadchan is someone who knows me really, really well (the guy not so much). The problem was it's hard to compare hashkafas of different people. On paper, this sounded like it could totally work.
Also, while it's true that a debate or conversation about the media and its role is a totally legitimate, really interesting discussion, coming from someone who has had to have this conversation both on dates and just in other situations with people I don't know, it is very frustrating to be put on the defensive like that right away.
Here's the thing: I don't think the jeans are an indication of hashkafic issues--I have nothing against a guy who wears jeans (after all, I wear denim skirts), just a guy who wears them on a first date.
Jeans tend to correlate with a more liberal hashkafa. You'll see more jeans-wearers in the Upper West Side than Flatbush. Obviously it's not an iron clad rule, but it's not terrible proxy.
But I agree that any guy who wears jeans on a first date needs to get with the program.
Also, while it's true that a debate or conversation about the media and its role is a totally legitimate, really interesting discussion, coming from someone who has had to have this conversation both on dates and just in other situations with people I don't know, it is very frustrating to be put on the defensive like that right away.
Right, but you can't blame the guy for not knowing that you have this conversation all the time. But he should have realized that you didn't want to have that conversation and switched topics.
You're right, some of those comments are pretty dumb, but Im with nephtuli on the jeans issue. It could be an hashkafic thing. I have some pairs of denim that are much nicer (and more expensive) than slacks I wear to shul. And, I look much better in them. If I take out the time to come home after work and change into one of my favorite pairs of jeans, instead of just going straight from work in my corporate atire, that actually shows that I care.
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