Monday, December 26, 2005

Homesick for My Dorm?

It's hard to be home. And it's more than just the boredom of a long stretch of vacation, more than just the fact that I have to fend off two sisters to gain access to the car and mobility, more than just the inconvenience of having most of my stuff at school and needing to transfer it slowly as I need it.

I'm really too old to live at home--too old for prolonged stints in my house. I've lived away from home for three and half years now, including this past summer, and I've become accustomed to it. Cooking my own food may be an inconvenience, but I'm used to eating when and where I please. Having a car is nice, but I'm used to being able to go out when I want without having to let anyone know my whereabouts. I'm used to cleaning up after myself, but not having to clean up after other people.

I'm used to living with people my own age, not with my parents and younger siblings. I'm used to being responsible for myself and beholden only to myself. Being at home is a complete shift, a completely different world, a world I don't really fit into anymore and a world I'm not really comfortable with anymore.

I haven't outgrown my family (I don't think you can do that even if you want to), but I think I have outgrown my home in a way.


At 12/26/05, 6:15 PM, Blogger Nephtuli said...

Wow. I feel the exact same way. Living on your own might have its difficulties but the benefits sure outweigh the costs.

At 12/27/05, 5:02 AM, Blogger Karl said...

Appriciate what you have while you still have it, is the key I think.

At 12/27/05, 7:03 AM, Blogger Masmida said...

You can never go home again.

I've traveled alot and learned to make the four square feet in which I stand, whereever those may be, my home.

and whenever I go back to my parents house I feels squeezed.

At 12/28/05, 9:45 AM, Anonymous Essie said...

I also feel claustrophobic when I go home to visit my parents. Surrounded by love, yes; but a little stifled nonetheless.

At 12/28/05, 4:57 PM, Blogger yakki said...

It's no wonder Hashem commands us to love our neighbor or Himself but not our own family (at most we should honor, not love, our parents or respect certain obligations to your spouse). We're even supposed to bury our neighbor's dead and visit their old, but there's no commandments about loving your own family. I guess He thought we just naturally love them and so He didn't need to mandate this? My family gets on my nerves - I just spend about a week at home between semesters and I'm well-glad to be out of town today. Blood IS thicker than water though, in the end.

At 12/28/05, 6:14 PM, Blogger Josh said...

Hmm, from the 25 year old who lives at choice. Free rent, free food. Then again, we have a pretty hands off family. I guess, take advantage of it if you can.

At 12/28/05, 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't get too complacent living alone... I hope you build your own home someday.

At 12/30/05, 4:41 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

Good for you, it's very attractive in a girl when she is independant. I often find people revert back to their old roles of arguments, bickering and childish behaviour when they are back home, being treated like children, make sure that doesn't happen to you.

Don't forget to love your family dearly, they are a precious gift.


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