Sunday, April 17, 2005

Holding Out for a Hero

[Ed. Note: I wrote this post a while ago and didn't post it for a few reasons: I didn't (and still don't) want my blog to be about dating and marriage just because I'm a young frum girl. I also felt like there were some things that were too personal to share on my blog. And most of all, I didn't want to sound bitter. I am not bitter. But today I will be going to my third engagement party in so many weeks, and it almost feels like "I can safely say that I'm the only one in the whole entire Orthodox community my age not enagaged or dating now." Well, not really. But to make a long story short(er), I decided to put up this post. That does not mean I am depressed or unhappy or dying to walk down an aisle in a big poofy white dress tomorrow.]

"In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold a person can develop a cold."

Someone I know asked me recently, "so, when are you getting married?" To which I responded, "when I find the right guy." Now this is going to be a rant because I'm a lil frustrated. I understand the frum world's emphasis on marriage; we're a very family-centric religion and I'm ok with that. Really. And I do want to find the right guy to spend the rest of my life with and build a family with him.

But God is in control, people. You cannot decide it is time to get married and then magically find your Prince Charming and live happily ever after. You just can't. That's not the way the world works. And you know what? If God wants you to get married when you're 35, then unfortunately you're going to have to wait. And I cannot stand this sense of "oh, you're 20, you must be desperately seeking Mr. Right."

I will find Mr. Right when God introduces us.


At 4/17/05, 8:30 AM, Blogger Nephtuli said...

Usually when people ask when you're going to get married, it's a subtle hint to start dating. Although being a guy I probably get this question less than girls, that's my take on it.

At 4/18/05, 2:33 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...


Girl, you've got the right attitude. Live a little, enjoy life and the freedom that comes with being a mature adult, and when he comes along you'll settle down. I hate the way people start putting pressure on you the second you are out of high school.

Sorry for the rant.


At 4/19/05, 6:27 AM, Blogger Karl said...

I can't decide whether to write; you've got the right attitude - dont worry what everybody thinks and just do your thing and all else will fall into place at its right time; or you sound so desperate and are just trying to justify it to yourself (sorry for being do blunt) - I do the same. I want to go and experience the world, to live a little, to grow up in a life of my own - but also want to do it with someone, with a soul mate, someone to grow with. Life is frustrating sometimes, but then again, it would be boring and dull if it wasnt. Bein Hazmanim is the time when many engagements occur, but then these people probably only met a week or so before hand.


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