Day 12 With No Day Care

While attempting to vacuum a small percentage of the roughly 3 gajillion Cheerios on the floor, the child attempted to help by trying to push the vacuum, making it harder to actually get anything done. 

I told him that the vacuum was a "Mommy toy."

FML 

Day 10 of No Day Care

I tried to sneak a fun size Milky Way bar while I was behind the child pushing him in the stroller.

It did not work.

Do you know what half a fun size Milky Way bar is? Not fun, my friend. Not fun.

(Don't even get me started on the whole idea of fun size in general.)

Day 8 With No Day Care

I insisted that the child's second bowl of cereal for dinner be Cheerios instead of Sour Patch Kids cereal. I'm counting that as a parenting win.

Day 4 Without Day Care

I'm pretty sure I spend 90% of my time convincing the child not to play with things that aren't toys and to play with his toys.

Also, he took a bite of a pine cone so there's that.

On Our Third Day Without Daycare

• I'm pretty sure the child, who is all of 20 months old, rolled his eyes at me. Are they even supposed to be able to do that yet?
• The child started crying when I tried to sing him a song.
• I put him in his cozy coupe in front of the TV so I could take a conference call and he wouldn't touch the TV. I told him he was at a drive-in movie.
• He pooped in the tub.

On Our Second Day Without Day Care

• I discovered that it's difficult to maintain my unhealthy snacking while convincing the child to eat healthy food.
• The child had a meltdown because he couldn't close a door ... because his foot was in the way.

On Our First Day Without Day Care

The toddler ended up in a giant bag of dog poop I was collecting from the yard so he could play in the yard.

Eternal Questions of Motherhood

Will it be easier to explain to the toddler that he can't have tomato sauce for dinner or to clean up the mess from giving him tomato sauce for dinner?