In Which New Yorkers Don't Know Geography

Me: You should come visit me.

5-year-old brother: I can't.

Me: Why not?

5-year-old brother: Eema and Abba don't let me leave America.

Even after I explained to him that I do in fact live in the same country and that I live really close to attractions like Disneyland and Legoland (which I'm sure is exciting to a 5-year-old, even if it's less exciting to me—and to Alec Baldwin), he insisted that he didn't have the means or ability to up and visit me all by himself. Seriously.

Though I can't really complain about his lack of geographical knowledge when I might have maybe used my cool U.S. map cookie cutter to make cookies for my red, white, and blue meal and maybe made those cookies backwards. Oops.

But really what do you need to know besides for the fact that New York is the center of the universe?