In Which I Am a Hypocrite
Once upon a time, I was incensed when a boy decided after a 40-minute phone conversation that he didn't want to go out with me. Today, after spending over an hour on the phone (thank God for free Mobile to Mobile minutes) with a guy, I conveyed that there was no way I had any interest in ever meeting said guy.
So, I present things not to do on the first phone call:
- Start by reading off my Saw You at Sinai profile. Didn't you do that already? "So, you're not a pet person. That's great." (I'm not a big SYAS fan. It's a long story that mostly involves my grandmother, but for now, I'm on.)
- Bash my hometown and The City. "There's only one thing I don't like about your profile. It says you're from Far Rockaway, and I hate New York."
- Tell me in detail what you're looking for in a girl and how you're so frustrated because you don't think it exists. (It was an ill-defined personality of some sort.)
- Insult my entire gender. "A lot of girls can't digest a real Torah thought."
- Start a conversation about politics if you are incredibly uninformed. (See below.)
- Identify yourself as a Democrat and then to explain why essentially quote from the GOP handbook about how much you believe in accountability and don't believe in social services.
- Say that everyone has equal access to education, that, after all, if someone decides not to take out exorbitant loans to pay for higher education, that's just because they don't value education, obviously.
- Continuously insist that the direct result of the health care bill will be that doctors will make the least money of any professionals. (Do you know what the average reporter makes?)
- Say that mental health care is not important and shouldn't be funded—that people who can't afford it just shouldn't get it.
- Say that you read the newspaper but then indicate that you have never in your life picked up a newspaper. "The only person's opinion who you can hear on health care anywhere is Obama's." (Really? He's the only person the New York Times quotes?)
- Say anything that sounds anything remotely like, "I was so proud of Obama when he got up there and slammed a lot of black men."
- Tell me that you are a medical student for the noblest of reasons but that you don't support universal health care because you don't think it's fair that you went into medical school thinking you'd make a certain amount of money and may not be able to make quite that much with reform even though you agree that reform will save lives.
- Assert that you don't believe in social justice because it comes with a high price tag. (His words.)