Top 5 Awkward Family Moments of the Weekend

It's been quite a weekend.

• "You've changed a lot. You don't look anything like you used to. Now you're a babe." --my 80-year-old great uncle, in which he managed to simultaneously disturb me and insult me. He added insult to injury by telling my sister right afterward that she "wasn't quite there yet." 

• My cousin telling me how cute her son's chumash play was--the opening scene was set in a classroom with the boys asking their teacher why they had to have school on Sunday, with one of the boys specifying that his sister doesn't have school on Sunday. The answer? "Because we're boys and we need to learn Torah." Oh-so cute.

• My sister and I contemplating whether taking a gemara off the shelf to look something up in my cousins' house would lead to a riot of some sort. A boy diving for the gemara, peyos flying, and snatching it out of our hands? We opted to avoid the gemara.

• My uncle introducing everyone at the meal and just calling us "my nieces." He added "from Far Rockaway" after my aunt chimed in but clearly didn't know any other information about us--like our names.

• My father naming various family members as they walked in to take pictures at a wedding: And there's cousin X. My brother: Who's X? My father: The groom.