It Bothers Me That Nothing Bothers Me
People talk about our lack of sensitivity all the time. And probably nothing in this post will be even a little bit groundbreaking. But it bothers me. It bothers me that I could go to a shiur for Tisha B'Av, try anything I could think of to get into the right mind set, and still, ultimately, end up relatively unmoved.
And yet, when packing tonight, every little thing set me off -- my computer, my iPod, my dress, my flip-flops. Anything that wasn't perfect was enough to drive me to the brink of a nervous breakdown. But the fact that the Beit HaMikdash is destroyed, that we are living in exile, that Israel is in terrible danger, that we were supposed to be mourning the saddest events in our heritage -- none of those was enough to affect me. Even a little.
Does it count that it bothers me?
posted by Eli7 @ 12:01 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I think it counts. At least it bothers you that you're not bothered. If you really didn't care, then you'd be in trouble.
I'm also bothered by the fact that I don't feel upset "enough" on 9 Av.
I felt the same way on 9/11. The destruction of the Towers bothered me more than the fact of the destruction of the Temples. That feeling bothered me too.
But maybe I'm more upset by 9/11 because I actually watched it happen on TV, and saw the aftermath of ashes on my street, and knew people who either didn't get into the city or who had to get out fast but couldn't call home.
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