In Which Eli7 Figures Out Her Life ... Or Not

There's a year-old almost mint-condition LSAT book sitting on my bookshelf in my dorm room in DC.

My journalism internship (that's the most info you're getting because much as exposing all, being fired, and writing a best-selling book sounds good on paper...) has in the past three days had me dreading the question, "So, do you want to go into journalism?"

And really since I fell in love with Columbia as a freshman, ahem first-year, I've wanted to stay in school forever and get a Ph.D.

But I've wanted to be lawyer since 9th grade mock trial. OK, so maybe it's not the best idea in the world to make a career choice based on what you wanted when you were in high school especially if that decision was based on a fantasy-world extra curricular. Right.

But honestly, the study of law appeals to me. I know, I know, everyone tells me I'm not going to like law school, but a certain university president once said that "law school is the best educational experience you can get" and I believe him. But I don't know if I'll like the practice of law. Problematic, huh?

And much as I would love to get a Ph.D., a, I don't think I'll get into grad school, and b, really that's a lot of years not making money for a piece of paper that won't make you any money. And I've said for a long time that I don't want to go into academia, but maybe my place is in the ivory tower (which is, incidentally, the name of the dorm I am currently sitting in, stupid GW).

And one day I'm going to need to make money. Maybe that day isn't today. Or tomorrow. But I don't really have seven years to get a degree that I won't be able to put to practical use. At least I hope I don't have seven years to do that. But I also don't want to choose a job for the money if I don't love it? But is that selfish?

And I love editing, with a passion I have for few other things. But could I do it for my whole life? Am I cut out for it? Am I good enough? Will I get burned out (because, let's face it, there are only so many years you can spend fixing other people's grammar mistakes before you become a bitter, bitter person)?

I'm the sort of person who likes to plan out her life and follow those plans to a tee, work toward those goals and succeed. But I don't want to follow those plans if my interests have changed. But I don't know if my interests have really changed or what I want to do or what I'll enjoy doing or what will make me happy.

Or if I'm just really afraid of taking the LSATs.