On a Scale of One to Awkward

I'm recovering from a fabulous weekend, but some awkward moments to tide you over until I have anything intellectual, funny, or shoe-related to say:

• Let's say, hypothetically, you're standing in Key Food with just an avocado in your basket (i.e., you have barely even started grocery shopping). And a girl you sort of—sort of!—know pulls you over and asks if she can talk to you. Then, she tells you, while you're standing in front of the cashiers at Key Food: "I was trying to set up these people, but then the girl was sort of busy, but I feel OK about that because the truth is she's probably not pretty enough for him, but I feel sort of bad because I was setting him up and all. So, I was thinking, maybe for you ..."

• Or let's say you're walking into your building, on the phone, and a guy you dated very recently happens to be at the moment moving into said building. You do the right thing and say hi. He looks as if he has something to tell you, so you tell your friend on the phone to hold on for a minute, and the boy tells you, "I think I have a guy for you, he seemed OK with the whole moving to L.A. thing, but actually he's dating someone ..."

• Being asked if you're Jewish three times over the course of 24 hours on the streets of Manhattan.

• Passing sketchy Chassidish guys on the Brooklyn Bridge at 2 a.m. who not so subtly put their hands up to cover their faces or deliberately look down when your friend tries to subtly take their picture.