Dear L.A., Please Be Warmer Than Wisconsin

OK, so here's the thing: I'm from New York and I currently live in Wisconsin. So, yeah, cold weather: been there, done that, will do it again next week when we go back to Madison. But my basic feeling about any weather under 70 degrees is that it sucks. I'd be perfectly happy to live in flip-flops and open-toe heels for the rest of my life. I have a pair of warm boots and I call them my "ugly boots" and only wear them when absolutely necessary (which is just about every day of winter in Wisconsin, though I did discover when toveling our new mandolin in the lake that they are completely waterproof, which is a nice perk). I have one of those puffer coats, which resembles a sleeping bag and doubles my size. I have sweaters and scarves and gloves and hats, but you know where all that warm stuff is? In Madison, where it gets cold enough to need it. Not in Los Angeles, where we were supposed to be able to spend every day lounging on the beach. Except it's been in the 50s here. And you know what? It is totally unacceptable for it to be below 40 degrees in Los Angeles. Because 39 degrees is just not flip-flop weather, and my toes are cold. (I did bring sneakers, too, but I seem to have lost one of them in one of the six places we've stayed in the four weeks we've been here.) So, yes, Jimmy Kimmel, this is exactly how I feel about the weather here.