Dear Random Lady at Starbucks

Dear lady sitting across from me in Starbucks,

I get that Starbucks was really crowded today (also, tangentially, Starbucks in San Diego is cheaper than anywhere else I've been, which is nice), so I was happy to share my table with you. And I get that you're computer-illiterate (I get this because you told me this), but here's a tip: If someone went to the trouble of bringing her laptop with her to Starbucks and has it set up and open at her table, chances are she came there to work, not to talk to strangers. So, if you must complain about the weather (and, really, there's almost never a good reason to complain about the weather in Southern California in the summer), that's fine, but please do not tell me about your $10,000 fur coat, your broken marriage, throwing out your grown daughter's kindergarten laminated graduation cap, your cross-country move, and dating when you're 50. Believe it or not, I did not come to Starbucks to spend an hour listening to you complain about your life. And if I keep on trying to look at my computer and type, please understand that that means I, well, want to focus on my computer, not you.

Love, 

Eli7