Questions From a Confused, Sleep-Deprieved Mind

• Why does the USC student center have a five-tiered fireplace (see picture if you are having a hard time figuring out what that means)? Never mind the fact that I can't figure out why anyone would have a five-tiered fireplace, but USC is in L.A., where fireplaces seem slightly unnecessary. I mean, I have a fireplace in my apartment, which seemed pretty awesome—I envisioned toasted marshmallows and s'mores—but guess how many times I've used it? Um, never.

• Why did I get summoned for jury duty in New York when I live in California? The entire time I lived in New York, I never got summoned for jury duty. I have been an official resident of California for one and a half years, and I just got summoned for jury duty. In New York. 

• Why do undergrads think that if they ask their professor enough dumb questions about the upcoming exam, he will break and just hand over a copy of said exam?