Adventures in Toilet Paper Land (or Where Not to Go on a Date)

When I was in Israel for the year, Michlala's tour guide joked that he could write a book on public restrooms in Israel after years of seminary girls desperately making pit stops throughout the country.

 

But public restrooms have reached a whole new level with the discovery my sister and I made on a late-night scavenger hunt in Times Square (because there was nothing else to do in the whole city). We dubbed it Toilet Paper Land. Actually, they are public restrooms sponsored by Charmin, but they are so much more than just that.

 

There was a long line to use the actual bathrooms (which we did not test) and a guy on a megaphone entertaining as people waited—"The place you want to be when you have to pee"; "How old are you? Seven. She's a big girl. She's going to go by herself!"; "I don't want to embarrass anyone, but this lady closed the door when she left. Leave the door open so we know if the room is free."

 

There was a small indoor playground with a slide and swing for the kiddies. A stage where you could put on a show. A sleigh for photo ops complete with a photographer and free (!) photos. Postcards to send to friends.

 

It was a softer, plusher alternate universe. And we now have multiple pictures with the Charmin logo in the background. Considering how few good pictures my sister and I have together, the fact that we now have six Charmin pictures is truly remarkable.

 

Though I would note that we spotted more than one shidduch date in Toilet Paper Land (and, shockingly, none in Toys 'R' Us, where we maybe sort of went for the purpose of, um, spotting such dates—and to find a "monstrous stroller" for our hunt), which was amusing for us but probably not the best place for said activity.