The Beginning of the End

Today (yesterday?) was the first day of my last semester of classes at Columbia. Maybe my last semester of classes ever. It's also the first time in three years that I have no defined role at the newspaper and the first time in a year that I don't have to be at the newspaper office every night. And it's bittersweet. Well, mostly bitter.

I love Columbia and I so don't want to graduate. The real world is scary, and I like my bubble. I'm not sure I'm ready to leave academia forever. And, yet, I'm burnt out. I need a break. Sitting through classes today was tedious at best. (OK, maybe that has something to do with the fact that I was shopping classes and was none too impressed with the ones I tried, but still...)

And I miss the newspaper. It's hard to go cold turkey on something I gave so much to for so long. It's hard to be so out of the loop, to--as a former editor put it last year--let the inmates run the asylum. I know it sounds crazy, but I miss the hard work. I miss working on something bigger than myself.

So, that's it. I begin this semester apprehensive about life after graduation (especially in light of having to find a job, figure out exactly what I want to do with my life, etc. ...) and with separation anxiety from the newspaper.

And my comma key on my keyboard is sticking. I'm a copy editor. I cannot live without my comma key.

This is not promising.