'Marry Only the Individual You Think You Can't Live Without'
"When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke — the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert." —The Alchemist
Our first anniversary was last week (as we sat on a beach in Hawaii). And, to sum it up, the first year of marriage was a blast. I don't claim to have learned all the secrets of good marriage in a year, but a few things I have learned:
- Don't buy your husband a Nerf gun if you don't want to be shot with a Nerf gun.
- Challah on honey is delicious. We may continue this just because I like it (far more than Z likes it, but he indulges me). Gummy bears in lieu of honey isn't the best idea in the world, however.
- Get a grind 'n brew coffeemaker. It will make delicious coffee and that will make you happy.
- Don't insult someone's significant other. Ever. If you don't like someone's spouse, that's fine, but don't tell that person. Dude, if you insult my husband, it's going to make me mad. The end.
- Late wedding presents are excellent because they're unexpected. I may start giving wedding presents late on purpose.
- Other weddings will never be as awesome as yours. Especially if you got married in a rose garden and danced in a fountain, but even if you got married in a basement in Brooklyn.
- There is no good way to travel with a shaitel. On your head or in a box or in a Ziploc or in a shoe box. (This sounds vaguely like a Dr. Suess book.) It's never going to look as good as it did when you left, so you might as well give up on that. Also, shaitel boxes will fall apart if you are silly enough to take them on a plane.
- Flying first class is amazing.
- Your husband probably can't eat an entire batch of blue cupcakes, even if he loves blue cupcakes. So, use your fractions and halve and quarter recipes. (Or ask your mathematician husband to halve and quarter recipes for you if you're lucky enough to have a mathematician for a husband.)
- If your husband goes away for a week, don't greet him by dropping his phone into (instant!) coffee.
- Eventually people may stop asking you if you're newlyweds or maybe they won't, but don't let that deter you from holding hands and being all cute and married. Because you're cute. And married.