Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Dating, Explained

From now on, any time I need to attempt an explanation of Orthodox dating to anyone, I am just sending them to this article and calling it a day. It's close enough to the truth and way easier on me.

(Click for larger image.)


At 2/2/10, 5:53 AM, Blogger Greg said...

You read my mind! I saw too many words I didn't know and gave up. :)

At 2/2/10, 3:54 PM, Blogger Eli7 said...

Greg, I am more than willing to provide translations.

Also, a friend e-mailed me asking what I thought of this part of the article:

Yet Weissman, while certainly a proponent of women’s education, believes that some women have placed their careers ahead of family life, which makes it harder to find a spouse. “I think feminism is a problem,” he said. “With the opportunity to have a successful career, a woman needs to keep in mind that everything in Judaism centers around the family.”

It's a good question because I don't agree with Weissman. (I also don't agree with lots of things he has said in other forums, but that's a separate story.) I mean, yes, I think we do need to keep in mind that Torah and our families are our priorities. But I hardly think those sentiments should be limited to women. Men are also responsible for their families and also have to remember to make their families their priority.

I don't think feminism has anything to do with a shidduch problem. Except in so much as some guys (and I have dated them) are still looking for girls who are going to be perpetually barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and aren't interested in girls who are educated and smart and going to work. That's not a problem with feminism; it's a problem with guys and their faulty expectations.

And I don't say that to be bitter, and I think there are girls who are looking for that lifestyle as well, and that's just fine. But I do think it's frustrating that there are guys who just assume that they don't have to make family their priority because their wives will.


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