Deep Thoughts: The Spilled Coffee and Soap in the Eye Edition

• Postage is ridiculously expensive. Ridiculous. Guess how much I spent to send a 3-pound box (holding a pair of flip-flops, hideously sparkly sneakers, and slippers—shoes for before the wedding, during the wedding, and after the wedding for a friend) to Israel. $25! What? This makes me especially nervous as my plan had been to ship my belongings cross-country to my non-existent apartment when I move this summer. The road-trip option just does not appeal to me.
  
• I have this razor. Not because I have ever felt the need for a vibrating razor but because it was on sale and, so, cheaper than the other versions when I went to buy a new razor. It has a battery, which is sealed so it doesn't get wet and electrocute you or do whatever other obviously bad things happen when batteries and water mix. But there is a crack in mine, which might mean it's time to retire said razor. Because being electrocuted by your razor while shaving your legs is no way to go.
  
• My bad days recently have been freakishly bad—broken heel, soap in my eye, coffee down the front of my shirt bad. I feel like I am living in a cartoon. I may be flattened by an anvil next.
  
• There is something that seems very wrong about staying up all night tonight to cook for Shavuot and thus not being able to stay up all night on Shavuot learning. I'll try to avoid, but my insane idea of making muffins, two kinds of cheesecake, and lasagna may make that hard to do.
  
• Also, there is nothing about this entire article that makes any sense.