Saving My Eternal Soul, or Trying to Do So
Try explaining to your co-workers that you don't want to go to happy hour with them because you just don't think it's the environment that a good, frum girl should be in.
Trust me, it's not so easy. I really like the people I work with, but their social activities leave much to be desired on my part. I do not want to see dirty foreign films with them and I do not want to drink with them. And they just don't get it. They just don't understand why I'm so opposed to hanging out with them outside of work, why I'm ostracizing myself from the group.
I could try telling them the truth - that I am trying to avoid damage to my eternal soul by choosing not to hang out with them - but someohow I'm not sure how well that would go over.
posted by Eli7 @ 4:39 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Would you go with them to something more "pareve" like a baseball game?
The problem is, that there are two other religious Jews in my office who do go with them. So I can't just say that religion forbids it, because saying so would mean my saying that I'm more religious than the other religious people here (which myabe I am, but still not a very good thing to say).
Anon, I'm not sure. There is definitely drinking at baseball games (and I don't like sports), but would I go somewhere with them that would be more nuetral than a bar? I think so, but I'm not really sure about it.
You could also just say you are a teetotaler (or that you only drink on Shabbos). There are lots of non-Jews like that, for whatever reason, like certain Christians, Mormons, Muslims, etc.
I just told my coworkers that I don't drink. They are OK with that. We have ice cream socials at work and I participate in those (kosher Edy's or Ben & Jerry's).
If you tell the truth and show them you stick to your word, they will (eventually?) respect you for it. There is no reason to compromise yourself and/or your principals.
Or you could just say you are busy with other (more important) things.
I have written before about what to do (What I did) when they specially arranged an X-mas dinner on Tuesday night (instead of Friday) so that I would be able to come along!
Every situation is different, you just got to deal with each differently.
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