Deep Thoughts: The I Don't Want to Write This Paper Edition
- Dear roommate, guess what I found on the stove top tonight when I went to cook dinner? Guess! A wad of chewed gum, which must have been yours unless someone broke into our apartment to spit their gum out on our stove top, which seems ... unlikely. Is it too much to ask for you to deposit your gum in the trash?
- Coolest thing ever, which I am clearly going back to Walgreen's to get: A mug that plugs into your car to keep your coffee hot.
- Voice mail is not an appropriate venue to tell someone you'd rather not go out with them again. I guess I should be glad it wasn't a text message. BASTRAT.
- Why would my father start sleeping with his cell phone next to his bed right before his birthday, when I called at 1:45 a.m., his time, to wish him a happy birthday?
- Three-way iChat is amazing. It meant I could have a dance party with two friends in different cities over my computer. My roommates may think I am insane, but that's OK.
- It's hard to be far away when the people you love are going through hard things. I can't wait to be closer to them next week. All that stands in my way is a 25-page paper and a take-home final. About that 25-page paper ...
posted by Eli7 @ 11:00 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I disagree with you on the voicemail issue. If it's only been one or two dates, I think leaving a voicemail saying "I think you're nice but I don't think we're a good match" is fine. One of the girls I left that voicemail for never answered her cell. If I didn't leave a message, she would have just seen my number under Missed Calls, and wonder why I didn't leave a voicemail. And I think my method is better than leaving a voicemail saying "Call me. We need to talk."
AJ, here's the thing: I am not the sort of girl who goes for chivalry; I think it's more awkward than enamoring for a guy to open the car door for me, etc. But I think there are parts of the shidduch system that emphasize the value of people and the recognition that we are dealing with actual people who deserve respect. And, yes, the truth is, the voice mail was a lot less awkward than having to talk to the guy, especially this week, which has been so trying. And it's not like I'm heartbroken—it was two dates and I wasn't so into him, either. (I think the real lesson is that I need to stop dating Republican lawyers.) But, still, I think there is just a level of respect that should be afforded within shidduch dating, and that means actually talking to someone, not just leaving a voice mail that says "nice knowing you."
So a voicemail saying "Call me, we need to talk" (leading to you calling him back and a short conversation where he said "I don't think we're right for each other") would have been preferable to you?
Yes, because in shidduch dating, we try to make the whole thing very sterile and pretend there are no real feelings involved, but that's just silly and untrue. In this particular case, I didn't really care as there actually were no feelings involved, but I am just saying a call is proper etiquette. And for good reason.
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